So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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