If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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