My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.