That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost