i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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