How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."