We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
