where am i from again
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
