my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
