There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
