He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
