if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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