honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
