after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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