you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
