Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize