maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
