I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
