Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize