I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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