So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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