Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
