We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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