How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize