just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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