did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
