If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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