dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
