She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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