Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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