dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize