Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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