Where is the hickey?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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