i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
