SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize