i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
