I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
