Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize