No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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