Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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