Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
