More tranny stories later!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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