just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
