fuck your aforementioned shoe
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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