i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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