he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
