Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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