Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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