discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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