Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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