sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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