we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
