Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Randomize