Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize