we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
