saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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