I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
